1. |
Missive
00:48
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i want every week to be over as soon as it starts
every phone call from mom to have at least one good part
i'm so sick of feeling like we're just waiting to die
swallowed whole after standing in a very long line
feeling hopeless again as i stare at the leaves
that i know with the drought'll just never stay green
trying to tell myself that we've still got a chance
while thinking only of me and my lack of romance
is it so much to ask?
to get the feeling back?
is it so much to ask?
to get my feelings back?
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2. |
JO Bud
02:51
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i dont wanna be your JO bud
i dont wanna be your bottom slut
i dont wanna look in the mirror
and always feel like im not good enough
but i dont really know what i can do
when im always thinking about you
in some imaginary world where things work out
i install all these apps (just as a test)
but they end up making me depressed
i just want to meet someone i like
i dont want to watch you get undressed
but i dont really know what i can do
clubs just arent my thing and i cannot choose
between the vomiting and loneliness tonight
and i don't think i can do this anymore
this culture shakes me to my very core
when you don't feel like you belong
and youve never been very strong
you think about how much it hurts
you really do believe youre cursed
when youre alone again in bed
the thoughts that rush into your head
you wish you didn't feel this way
is this just part of being gay?
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3. |
All My Problems
02:15
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who's got time for self improvement?
you're too tired to cook yourself dinner; nose to the grindstone
and when you're alone
spend your time marinating in regret
about all your friends, and the student debt
all my problems are so simple
i'm so god damn afraid of failing i'll never win
where do i begin
to pick up the shards of my awful broken brain
and build it back up to destroy once again
but who's got time for second chances?
shitty friends and high school dances
we aren't on this earth so long
to let me sit back and be proven wrong
who's got time for life's romantics?
they say if you stay on the bench you never score
and if i want more
i gotta say im a sorry sight
i don't have the guts to live my life
i don't have the guts to live my life
i don't have the guts to live my life
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4. |
Hadley
03:41
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hadley, mass
the stars shone bright above the van that we all slept in
and i dont know if i should be here.
days before, i heard the news
you broke it when i met you at kate's house over in fenway
but i had nothing to offer you.
no comfort, no kind words, no solace; i'm so anxious
just me, sitting there, alone.
so never in my life, it seems
have i known sorrows quite like these
and i hope that i can stay afloat
no never in my life it seems
have i known sorrows quite like these
and i hope to god i stay afloat.
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5. |
Bodybag
03:43
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katie hates her job, yeah she cant stand it
everyone's annoying and bad and bland
it kills her every time that she walks through that door
i ask her what shed do if it were her call
and she told me shed rather be doing nothing at all
she says "there has got to be more than this
i'll spend my life in an office
watching the days slip by."
lookin in the future makes me nervous
everyone'll leave and ill lose my purpose
i cant even tell you where i want to be
the choice between my friends and a secure job
but it doesn't matter what i pick 'cause either way i get robbed
i swear there has got to be more than this
i'll spend my life chasing promises
of an ideal life
we're talking dream jobs and fairy tales
romance and shoddy light rail
cold mornings in the fall
accepting ill hardly see you at all
now we live in different states
the problems that we create
and everything leading back to when i said
that this is what being in your 20s is all about
yeah, this is what being in your 20s is all about
we put our weeks in a bodybag
and get teardrop tattoos
but the part that hurts
is missing you.
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6. |
Anthony's Theme
00:54
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7. |
Record Breaker
03:20
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i remember when i was a kid
and summer didn't leave me sick
i thought about stuff like magic, and my dog
now i'm saddled with existence
terrors in all their persistence
its so frightening being
anything at all
i feel small
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8. |
Good Dogs
02:06
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iona: i miss you bad
you're the only one i talked to; the best friend i ever had
and when our parents were furious cause of something that you did
we'd hang out in my room because we were just stupid kids
i can't stay mad at you
i never wanted to
when i saw you, you could barely lift your head
you lost about 10 pounds and then you couldn't leave your bed
and i can't stress enough that i was alone as a kid
now that you're looking grim i think of all the good you did
i wish you could pull through
but you're not going to
and everything you did for me reminds me what a friend should be
all the times i was depressed you'd stay with me; id feel your breath
on my skin
i want you back again.
i guess i wish that nothing died
at least, nothing i ever liked
but bad things seem to stick around
while good dogs end up underground
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9. |
||||
this city is all that i have
this apartment is all that i need
and nothing you say, and nothing you do
will bring me back home to you
"home" is a nebulous thing
i lost it a long time ago
the hollow construction still stands
but i hate it there, no i will not go
and i can't stand it anymore
i've hit rock bottom, the ocean floor
teems with regrets, anxieties
the guilt for people i had to leave
they try to say "don't blame yourself
for looking out for your mental health"
but i know that i've let you down
because i just can't stick around
i'm not coming home for christmas
i'm sorry if that makes you blue
i just need some time to process
and figure out what i should do
maybe i'll feel better someday
maybe - i'll try not to doubt
i'll do what i can, and i'll find a way
to finally make something work out
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10. |
Whole Again
03:43
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it's been a year or so and
i took for granted what i had
it's sad, but too late to go back
the days keep sliding through my hand
like a hundred grains of sand
but hey, this wasn't what i planned
and i know that there's more to life than this
working every day, coming home to dishes
but i'm so sick and tired of all the loose ends!
even as they go away, it's hard to forget your friends
and i dont know what it will take for me to feel whole again
if i was gone,
if i was gone, would you miss me?
i don't think that you ever knew my name.
and when i'm gone,
yeah when i'm gone, will you miss me?
i don't think that you ever knew my name
but sammy moved to philly
aaron's still in nyc
audrey doesn't talk to me anymore
i don't think i can get used to
friends stepping in and out of view
and i'll miss singing on J2
and when our time's so limited
it makes me wonder why we drift
daydreaming of a world in which we
all could stay together
for now i'll text you on most days
play d&d every tuesday
and worry that i cant do this forever.
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11. |
||||
when i walked in
you looked so pale
i swear you stared
right through me
the desperate
shuddering
of your body
as you held me
i knew right then
the you i knew
had died and left
your body
as my heart raced
my mind, displaced,
you told me i
had a strong heartbeat
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12. |
||||
i fear what lies ahead
i'd give up if i could
i'm filled to brim with dread
all my life: so far, no good.
|
Really Great Boston, Massachusetts
cool punk band from allston !! "now that's fun to listen to"
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